Happy National Husband Appreciation Day to everyone except me because, alas, I do not have a husband to appreciate! But fear not—I shall live vicariously through all of you lucky folks who have a designated person to blame when the remote goes missing.
Why I’m Qualified to Write This (Despite My Lack of Spouse)
Just because I don’t have a husband doesn’t mean I don’t understand them. I’ve observed them in the wild (Target, Home Depot, hiding in the garage) and have gathered enough intel to know they’re a fascinating species. So, in honor of this sacred day, here’s my outsider’s perspective on why husbands deserve appreciation (or at least a participation trophy).
They’re Willing to Assemble Furniture Without Crying (Usually)
IKEA instructions are basically hieroglyphics, yet husbands will bravely declare, “I don’t need help,” before spending four hours building a bookshelf that leans slightly to the left. Respect.
They Pretend to Care About Our Hobbies
Me, showing my friend’s husband my 47th vacation photo: ‘And this one is just a close-up of the sand.”
Him, nodding: ‘Wow. Grainy.”
That’s commitment.
They’re Human Thermostats
Married women get to say things like, “Babe, I’m cold,”and suddenly there’s a hoodie wrapped around them. Meanwhile, single me is shivering in a blanket burrito, yelling at Callie to learn how to turn up the heat.
They’re Experts at Selective Hearing
Wife: “We need to talk about our budget.”
Husband, suddenly deaf: “Huh? Sorry, the game’s on.”
A skill I, too, would like to master.
They Accept That They Will Never Win an Argument
Husbands have learned that the correct response to “Does this dress make me look…?” is always, “You look amazing,” followed by a tactical retreat to the garage. Smart men.
How I’m Celebrating (Without a Husband)
Since I don’t have a husband to appreciate today, here’s what I’ll be doing instead:
- Appreciating My Freedom– No one’s leaving laundry on the floor or hogging the covers.
- Texting My Married Friends– “Hey, can I borrow your husband for a sec? My sink’s leaking.”
- Watching Rom-Coms– And laughing at the unrealistic portrayals of men who remember anniversaries.
- Eating the Last Slice of Pizza – With zero guilt.
Final Thoughts
To all the husbands out there—keep doing the Lord’s work by pretending to enjoy chick flicks and pretending you know how to fix the Wi-Fi. And to my fellow husbandless folks, don’t worry—we can still enjoy this day by appreciating the idea of a husband (while also enjoying not having to share the snacks).
Happy National Husband Appreciation Day! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be over here… not arguing about the thermostat.
Single folks, how are you celebrating?
Married people, what’s the funniest thing your husband does?
Share below!👇😆
Until next time,
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