Let’s be honest—kissing is weird when you really think about it. Two people just… smash their face holes together for affection, fun, or sometimes as a prelude to arguing about where to eat.
But today, on International Kissing Day, we lean in—literally—and celebrate the art of locking lips. Whether you’re a seasoned smoocher or someone who still panics and accidentally kisses your partner’s eyebrow, today is your day.
🧪 The Science of the Smooch
Kissing activates a whole bunch of nerves and brain chemicals, like dopamine, oxytocin, and the irrational belief that your ex has changed. It’s also said to reduce stress, boost immunity, and, in the right situation, shut someone up before they say something stupid.
Basically, kissing is like a vitamin… if vitamins made your leg twitch involuntarily.
💀 Types of Kisses We Don’t Talk About Enough
- The Panic Kiss – You thought they were leaning in for a hug. Now you’ve kissed their nose and questioned all your life choices.
- The “We’re Fighting but Still Love Each Other” Kiss – Looks passionate to outsiders. In reality, it’s just a silent truce before the next round of “I’m fine.”
- The Dry Grandma Kiss – No moisture. All pressure. Slight scent of mothballs.
- The Stealth Pet Kiss – You kiss the dog on the head and pretend it didn’t mean more than your last three relationships.
- The Surprise Kid Kiss – Usually involves slobber, confusion, and sticky cheeks. Bonus if it happens mid-Zoom call.
😘 Kissing Etiquette: A Refresher
- Breath check. Gum, mint, or straight-up prayer. Choose one.
- Know your audience. Consent is sexier than any cologne.
- Timing is everything. Mid-sneeze? Probably not the moment.
- Don’t overcommit. It’s a kiss, not a root canal.
🧟♀️ For the Chronically Single: You’re Not Left Out
You can kiss:
- A mirror (dramatic soap-opera style)
- Your coffee mug
- A bottle of wine named after an old Italian man
- Your dog (with their full, slobbery consent)
- The past goodbye (seriously… please let it go)
Kissing can be magic. Or tragic. Or occasionally involve teeth clanking together like rusty castanets. But it’s one of those weird
little human things that says “I see you, I like you, and I’m okay with sharing my germs in a very romantic way.”
So go forth. Be bold. Kiss someone—or something—that brings you joy.
(Just maybe don’t make out with your tax refund letter. It won’t write back.)
Until next time,
