HIRED HELP

                                         
                                        Yes, I Can Legally Marry You. (No, I Won’t Wear Pastels.)
                                    
                                            "Plot twist: I am officially an ordained minister. If you need someone to sign the paperwork, keep your mother-in-law from throwing a coup, and deliver a
                                            ceremony that doesn’t sound like a recycled Hallmark card, I’m your woman.
                                        
                                            The Damage:
                                        
                                                    The 'Just Sign the Damn Paper' Special: $150 (In, out, legally binding, no crying).
                                                
                                                    The Full Ceremony (With actual effort): $400+ (Depends entirely on how many ridiculous
                                                    requests you have and how close the nearest open bar is).
                                                
                                                    Note: If your wedding theme involves burlap, mason jars, or unironic country music, the price
                                                    doubles. I don't make the rules, my sanity does."

ConversOpens in a neHere are a few ways to write this up that won't ruin your beautifully weaponized brand voice. Since you’re already saving people from corporate nonsense, you might as well save them from boring wedding scripts—or at least charge them appropriately for the psychological toll.